Memphis drafts Hakim Warrick at pick 19. Grizzlies can only hope that Denver does not use their two remaining draft picks on Coppenwrath and Sorrentein.

If Jay Bilas makes one more reference to a players wingspan I'm going to fly into Madison Square Garden and poke at his skull with my beak.

Toronto Rapters Draft Charlie Villanueva with the sixth pick, and Dick Vitale is SHOCKED! Excuse my anachronism, but I think its no surprise that the team named after a dinosaur chooses a man modelled after a caveman.

Strengths: Rebounding, Size.
Needs to Improve: Eyebrows.

Today the Houston Astros beat the Colorado Rockies 8-2, in a game so meaningless it was actually labelled as an "intranational friendly."


WHERE MY SOCCER FANS AT!?!?
*tumbleweed*

China unveiled its slogan for the 2008 Olympics: "One World, One Dream"

I, for one, I'm glad they shortened it down from their original slogan "One World, One Dream, One Soup, One Wonton, and Your Choice of TWO of the following entries: Kung Pao Chicken, Baby Field Green Salad with Soy-Ginger Vinaigrette, Oriental Shrimp Salad with Napa Cabbage, Sesame Noodles with Bell Peppers and Soy , Chicken and Vegetable Stir-Fry, Steamed Pork Dumplings with Thai Dipping Sauce, Lemongrass Fried Rice with Fresh Ginger, Coconut Cake and Fortune Cookies. -- $6.95"

The Detroit Shock of the WNBA overcame a 25 point first half deficit to defeat the L.A. Sparks 79-73. This was the largest overcome defict in WNBA history.

"I am completely dumbfounded." Sparks coach Michael Cooper said after the game, "I simply cannot believe that the WNBA is a profitable league."

"Serena Upset at Wimbledon"

You know who ISNT upset at wimbledon? Racist tennis fans.

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Craig Biggio has been hit by a pitch 266 times in his career, one shy of the modern day record set by Don Baylor.

Biggio is also going for "the most mediocre record" record, beating out Vlade Divac who holds the record for most minutes played in a season under 1,000. (998 minutes in 2001)

Andrew Bogut's versatility around the basket and ability to run the court impressed the Atlanta Hawks during a workout session Friday.

Then again, the Hawks haven't seen a basketball player since Jon Koncak, so anybody should impress them.

"You. Yeah, you, the hot dog vender. How's your jumpshot?"

"Allright I guess..."

"Well thats better than Josh Smith. Suit up."

Barry Bonds may play until 2007. By that time his head will be so large:

- That he will be the first player to get hit by a pitch from the on deck circle

- That his bobblehead will now be described as "perfectly proportionate"

- That curve balls were just fastballs that got lost in his orbit.

San Antonio's Tony Massenburg won a ring after 13 NBA seasons with 12 teams. Though Massenburg sat out the finale and played just 28 minutes in the playoffs, his eyes were moist in the locker room. ``Twenty years, but you got it, T-Mass!'' Parker yelled.

Duncan also offered some words of praise: "Who ARE you?"

Maria Sharapova beat 15 year old Bulgarian Sesil Karatancheva in her second round match at Wimbledon today.

"I didn't realize she was so young" Sharapova said, while breastfeeding her opponent. "I mean, she's almost teething."

According to a recent Yahoo! Sports poll, 39% of people think Tim Duncan is an all time great, and 61% of people think he is great but too soft.

Studies also show that 100% of people would shit their pants if they ran into Ben Wallace on the street, and 73% of Rasheed Wallace's beard is actually his own pubic hair. So.

Eric Gagne is having Tommy John surgery.

I think the sign that you've made it in baseball is having a surgery or ailment named after you. Ain't that right Lou Gherig? *slapping his back, head rolls off*

Do you think Greg Popovich would trade in a game 7 victory for smoother skin?



I for one, think the answer is "Maybe."

St. Peter's basketball player found dead in dorm room

JERSEY CITY, N.J. (AP) -- St. Peter's basketball player George Jefferson was found dead in his dorm room Tuesday.

The cause of death was not immediately known, though Hudson County Prosecutor Edward J. DeFazio suspects Weezy.

The NBA owners and players association finally came to a deal today to avoid what would be the second Lockout in less then a decade.

That being said, I still have NO idea what "collective bargaining agreement" means.

I'll bet you ten dollars Malik Rose watched Game 5 of the NBA Finals at home, alone, eating popcorn and crying.

There are certain players in the nba that make you say "If I were seven feet tall, I would be that good."

But when it comes to Michael Olowakandi, I would probably be better.

Desmond Howard went from being one of the top 100 college players of all time, to Superbowl MVP, to Raiders back up wide receiver, to the Detroit Lions, and finally to nothing at all.

I call this the law of diminishing marginal returners.

Brian Mitchell? Your days are numbered.

I know what you're thinking. What sort of sports blog is this!? No Golf posts during the U.S. Open!?

Well, whaddyou call THIS? You nay-sayer.

I've been compiling a list of NBA players named after Indian Food. So far I have Eddy Curry, and Robert Chicken Tikka-Marsaala.

Pro: ABC would get more money from broadcasting a Game 7.
Con: Hubie Brown is due in Hell any day now.

The following Rap stars would make horrible NFL players because they are currently dead:

Tupac Shakur
The NOTORIOUS B.I.G.

That is all.

Do you think Chauncey Billups and Gary Sheffield have joint custody of that mustache, or can Chauncey only see it on weekends?

Wimbledon starts Monday.

This is the sound of nine people caring.

THE BIGGER THEY ARE THE HARDER THEY SUCK

Ten Years ago the top five centers in the NBA were Patrick Ewing, David Robinson, Shaquille O'Neal, Hakeem Olajuwon, and Dikembe Mutombo.

Now the top five centers are Shaquille O'Neal, Zydrunas Ilgauskus, Ben Wallace, Yao Ming, and Eddy Curry.

I just cant believe that two of them aren't black is all.

FSU quarterback Wyatt Sexton was arrested while referring to himself as "God." 83% of Seminole fans polled would have found it more sacreligious if Sexton had referred to himself as "Weinke."

Its a good thing the NBA decided to draw a giant Larry O'Brien trophy at halfcourt in both the SBC Center in San Antonio as well as the Palace of Auburn Hills in Detroit, that way, the players know what they're playing for.

In other news, Oliver Miller's court at home has a giant turkey sandwich at halfcourt. And I'm not even talking about artwork.

Welcome to "Straight Cash, Homey." The only sports blog on the internet that GUARANTEES NO "Worst Damn Sports Show Period" jokes.

Wait, I-- damnit.

When the Pistons hold on to tie the Finals at two games apiece, my bet is that the ESPN.com frontpage is a pic of Ben Wallace with the headline, "Two and 'fro."

Pokey Reese? Don't mind if I do.