With the city's famous skyline as a backdrop, Chicago's WNBA franchise announced Tuesday the new team will be called the Sky, with light blue and yellow as its colors.

As in, "What's the most boring thing to do in Chicago? The Sky's the limit"

New York Jets wide receiver Laveranues Coles is a survivor of sexual abuse.

In a profile in Sunday editions of The New York Times, Coles said he was molested between the ages of 10 and 13 by a man his mother later married.

I bet the Kansas City Star feels bad for its headline last week 'KC Secondary Rapes the Shit out of Jets Receivers.'

Come to think of it, it was pretty offensive, before this Coles story...

Daunte Culpepper continued his miserable season by throwing five interceptions and zero touchdowns.

"When we were good, nobody believed in us. Now you guys are saying we'll be a better team without Randy Moss. I guess I just like proving y'all wrong" Culpepper said to the confused reporters.

Note: See the clip that launched a thousand jokes.

CHOOSE YOUR OWN JOKE-VENTURE

Roger Clemens held the Marlins to two runs yesterday and earned a win even though his mom died earlier that day.
Guilt truly is the best defense. It actually won 9 gold gloves in the 40's.

OR:

It will be a traditional Catholic funeral. Each family member will cast a handful of dirt into the grave, except for Clemens, who will hurl in a piece of Mike Piazza's bat.

OR:

Once my 42-year-old son got blonde highlights, I wouldn't see any reason to go on living, either.

OR:

In just one start, Clemens' ERA went from being less than to greater than his number of parents.

The Connecticut Sun dropped the first game of the WNBA finals today to the Sacramento Monarchs and-- you know what, I can't do this with a straight face, I'm sorry.

Cheifs Running back Larry Johnson was arrested Monday night after an altercation with his girlfriend early Saturday morning at a Kansas City bar.

With 110 yards this weekend, a touchdown, and an arrest, Larry Johnson is a must have on any fantasy prison team. Meanwhile, Ray Lewis hasn't murdered anybody in years and his stock is dropping.

The Pats defense looked really impressive yesterday, but no matter how stellar it is, I still don't see any kid every buying a Randall Gay jersey. Ever.